2010 Christmas Letter

Merry Christmas everybody. I know you haven't heard a "thing" from us since I last posted 15 minutes ago on facebook that I just finished clipping my toenails. None the less in this modern world of technology and TMI (too much information) I am forging ahead with an old fashion Christmas newsletter to catch you up on the latest happenings of our family. Before I commence I must admit that I left out a few details about my toenail clipping- so, for those of you who must know, It started well with the little piggy that went to market but by the time I had whittled my way to the little piggy that went wee wee wee all the way home I had drawn blood twice. I think it was because when I had reached the little piggy that had roast beef I was also trying to type the facebook entry on my lap top with my nose.

Want to know whats worse? No? I'm telling you anyway. Whats worse is that if you have a teenager with a keypad type cell phone if you so much as toot, the breaking news (not the actual toot, at least not YET) will be broadcast from Nome to Miami before you can say "Whoopsie!"

Its one thing to know that God is watching you but God is merciful. I know he is merciful because I have written several "Tid Bits" for our church website and he has not stricken me dead. On the contrary. God mostly keeps quiet, at least for now, about your shortcomings, whereas a 14 year old boy will just blab your every indiscretion to the world using his wild west IPhone quick draw and lightning fast texting fingers. Other than that he is your typical teenage boy (Wade, not God) who, if you watch closely when performing tasks around the house - you will rarely detect actual movement. Like when you watch a mushroom grow.

We had a wonderful summer. Please see the "Summer of our content photo album". Wade contracted with one of our many wonderful neighbors to break several ponies, one of which had considerable talent for drawing blood on adults with his teeth.

Business man that he is, Wade subcontracted much of the pony work to Charlie and Gracie who established a tremendous rapport with the ponies. Also, Wade is so tall that his toes almost drag the ground when mounted on one of the small beasts, so the little kids were better fitted for the riding part. But they did fabulous on the groundwork too. Before it was over it was not uncommon to see them out in the dust being followed eagerly by a spotted pony, that, when approached by an adult would scatter like a startled antelope.

We did get in some good pony chasing, pony roping, pony dogging (like bull dogging) and in a few cases I greco roman wrestled one or two of them into submission. We also had lots of neat folks and their big horses out for lessons and training and made many new friends. Charlie and Gracie made the evening news when one of our customers dyed her paint horse pink and fastened a unicorn horn (really) on its head. Talk about breaking news. It was on TV and all over the Internet. I hid out by the manure pile in a scarecrow outfit until the camera man left.

It was fun having the family home at our place working horses, watching Wade develop into a fine hand capable or riding colts for his dad along with his mom who enjoyed the time away from teaching. Charlie and Gracie, the two pee-wee's, wanting to please their dad endured a few buck offs, complete with bumps and scrapes. Charlie held the record for being bucked off four times, but Gracie did a spectacular face plant to even the honors.


With Fall, came school. Linda is homeschooling the little kids with a group of neighbors. They start at 7:30. AM, finish at noon and do homework for about two hours afterwards. Its crazy. They wake up early and often start coloring or practicing their times tables - vigorously. They can whip out more multiplication problems in 90 seconds of "Mad Dog Math" at 6:00 am than I did in my entire school career. Stupid times tables.

Wade goes to High School at Central Christian and plays basketball. We rarely see him but when we do he is either studying or eating or drinking, like, four gallons of milk in one setting.

With winter came Christmas and with Christmas came the Tree. Pookie decided she wanted the same Christmas tree we used last year. I thought I was forever done with that prickly porcupine of a carpet staining monster but she made me cut it down and bring it back in the house. It smells funny too. I thought the cat was using the tree stand water as a latrine or something but its not the cat Pookie informs me. Its that stinking tree. After Chrismtas last year we planted it by the barn in a beautiful patch of wildflowers where I thought it would remain forever. But even Pookie decided it looked stupid and needed to go, but first, it must be employed as a Christmas tree. Because, (Pookie) "New Christmas trees cost twelve dollars per foot!"

(Me)"Cant we just get a one footer?"

Apparently not.

So I sit not twelve feet away from it again, writing the annual letter in the same chair in which I wrote it 364 days ago. In a few days I will remove that stinky little shrub from the house for good, chop it into little pieces and burn it to a cinder. And if I make a mistake in any one of the steps involved in getting forever rid of it Wade will be sure to publish it via text message and I will most likely get a ticket for burning a Christmas Shrub without a permit. If that happens, I will take his phone away for good. You can read about it on facebook.


Merry Christmas
Tim, Linda, Wade, Gracie, Charlie

Treatise on Marriage

My cousin posted a blog entry about marriage in which she divulged that her marriage went through a few very rough years- and now its better than ever. And she recommended a book that helped them confront their issues head on, humble themselves, and as a result they are experiencing a relationship they never thought possible. I'm assuming with each other. I responded with the following, which I will share, with you the reader. It is from my heart, mostly. I say mostly because I'm trying to watch "The Unit" which is a very cool show. Second only to the office, now that we dont have cable.

Wow Jill- you're brutally honest. I hate that. Our marriage is similar to yours only the spacing is different- where as you had your tough years in a clump, our tough years have been spread out in an every other day fashion: love hate love hate love hate love style and yes there were a few years where it was love hate hate hate, hate,love hate! (to the tune of dong ding ding dong dong, ding ding!) Fortunately the kids have kept us together ha ha. I wonder what people without kids have to argue about. Also, I wonder what keeps people together who don't have kids.

And so in closing we must conclude that everyone has gone through struggles in their marriage, even such stalwart examples as Pop and Maugi. (a much beloved, steady, prudent elderly couple in our family) But very few I think have confronted the yukiness in marriage head on like you have and you should be proud (excuse me, my wife just stuck a newspaper between my computer screen and my face and read a comic to me - not kidding) I'll have to admit that my wife is the sensible one and I can be a real spoiled brat horses fanny with a werewolf style temper. 85% of the time she bites her lip and the storm passes and maybe 10% of the time I bite my lip and go outside, turn into the incredible hulk and curse and break stuff and think "I cant take this anymore!" ROOAARRR! And in an hour or two I honestly cant remember what I was mad about or where all my buttons are. (get it? they blew off when I turned into the incredible raging werewolf hulk creature) I'm sure it was trivial. A practical tip - I only stay insanely mad for one or two hours. Although, at the time I think it will last forever.

There is something, some force that keeps us from totally imploding. Its invisible, from God. I think its Grace although for me its also sex. (Grace is the invisible one.) A sense of humor is also good in marriage though not to be confused with the sex itself, although after age fifty the two must be combined for best results. So, somehow we get by. I should get the book huh?

Being Thankful

Several weeks ago during Sunday service we recieved an admonition from our Pastors on the importance of being thankful. It struck me personaly as a new years proclaimation - and now that we are into March its time to get cracking!

Here is a completly hypothetical situation about being thanful. Pretend you have a fourteen year old boy named Wade who wont feed his chickens without congressional oversight. These are the chickens he couldn't live without.

Only after a barage of constant huranging during which you've threatened his very life (to be stripped of texting privileges) does he finaly feed them, wearing YOUR shoes. Your new Christmas shoes. He doesnt put the shoes on all the way. He shoves into them and crushes the heel of your shoe with his big foot. He thinks its hilarious. Then, after chores are finished and he has shuffled back into the house he plops your mucky shoes in the doorway where you trip over them, injuring yourself, which causes you to sin. THIS is the time to be thankful! Really thankful! Why not scream, weep and tear your garments and shout, Whats wrong with that boy? AARRGGGGHHHHHH! Great question!

Answer: Because all teenagers do this very thing. Just like you did. He's a somewhat normal, happy teenage boy. And thats something to be thankful for because there are parents who have lost their children who struggle just to be thankful for the short time they had together. Thats how they stay sane. Thats why you should be so thankful to God that you have a boy, a happy somewhat normal boy, who wont feed his chickens.