What you need

What you need is someone who constantly reminds you of your strong points. You need to be around someone like that. At least that's what I need. Maybe your the type of person who is not constantly fighting your head, but I am. I think I'm being honest with myself but close scrutiny of my thoughts combined with occasionally feedback from friends and acquaintances who have witnessed my actions and heard my words have caused me to realize that I have a tendency to naturally default into a glass half empty kind of guy. I'm too hard on myself. They say that I always accentuate the negative and disregard the positive. Alright already.

Ray Hunt, an old horseman who made his livelihood helping people understand their horses said, "Don’t find fault with your horse. Try to find the good things he does and then the bad will get less and less." It's so true and not only with horses but wives and kids and people in general, including my own, personal self. So if your one of us guys who is constantly critical of yourself you need to be around someone who will continually remind you of your good points.

If your conscientious you'll find an irresistible urge to take inventory of your good and bad faults and you'll most likely error on the side of being too critical. Maybe everyone does that, I don't know. Its like when you hear your voice on the answering machine. Your own voice always sounds stupid when you hear it played back. But nobody else thinks that about you. They don't think about your voice much at all. Because they are thinking of their own voice, which to you sounds normal, Besides even if their voice is a little weird sounding to you, it doesn't matter, its just THEM after all.

My friend and I video ourselves announcing our church announcements prior to the actual service so during service we are shown on a quick video segment to save time. Also, I look, and sound exactly like an idiot. On camera I've even got this huge space between my teeth. I always pretend I have to go to the bathroom when they play the video before the congregation. Then I watch from the hall which I refer to as the "foyer" in the announcements and I sound like a hillbilly when I say it. Anyway I'm so embarrassed that I watch from the hall. Because I am self conscious of the fact that I sound like Barney Phife on helium and look somewhat Chinese.

But the reality is that the pastors chose me because they saw something they liked. That's the theory I'm going with. So I choose to dwell on that positive idea when I do think of the announcements and try to imagine how they might see it from a pastors point of view as opposed to my point of view; the gaped toothed, Oriental, Barney Phife point of view. That's another thing that gets me in trouble. Self Deprecation. It really is the best kind of humor but sometimes people dont understand it and they think your hard on yourself. Which may be true although my favorite people have always been able to laugh at themselves and tell funny stories on themselves. But you have to be care full when you go this route because if all you do is self deprecate, you could be too full of yourself. In which case you become self centered, full of pride, and negetive. If you don't watch it you'll get bitter and cynical and crabby. Not that I would know.

So you need this cool person nearby to blow some smoke up your trousers. Its a good smoke, like cherry scented pipe smoke. Its a sweet smelling savor and it reminds you of what you do good. So you take in a compliment and savor the compliment and roll in the compliment like a dog rolls in something that stinks for whatever reason then runs around like his butts on fire. Like the dog you are infused with life because you are concentrating on what you do good and your chest sticks out a little further and you step a little lighter and the happy thoughts come and you imagine yourself doing great things. Sometimes you allow cool music to play in the background while you are doing these cool things and through some cosmic Dallas Cowboy stadium of the universe, people watch.

I had a friend do just such a thing for me. I wrote to him asking if I could get a quote about my abilities for a business website I am building. He wrote back with a wonderful account about this great person he knows who is vested with all types of talents and wisdom. I almost had to write back and make sure he wasn't talking about someone else. It was so encouraging. It was a "Hey, honey, come look at this" moment. I wanted wallpaper my room with it and read it every day and inscribe it on my toilet paper. I wanted to rub up against it like a cat rubs on catnip. I wanted to mail it out, to memorize it, memorialize it. I wanted to eat it. It inspirited me. It was true, even truer than the writer meant it to be, I know this in my own heart. I never really say this but it was one of those times when you want to say, "Damn Strait" and walk out and conquer the world (after a short pause to google "Damn Strait")

But anyway, it encouraged me, it made me want to be accountable to it. I wanted to live up to such lofty ideals and knew I could if someone besides my own doubting self believed in me and thought highly of my skills and talents. On one hand I am so confident and on the other I'm so critical and nit picky and set goals that are ridiculously high or low. I get so focused on what I do wrong and what needs to be fixed and what could be better. Soon, I'm frustrated; pounding on the negative, focused on driving it out, attacking it. But the more I chew on it the bigger it gets like a big piece of gristly bull moose jerky.

So when this angel shows up and breaths life into the atrophied part of your brain that sometimes thinks positive things but mostly suffocates, when this event happens everything takes on fresh meaning and you wonder how you got so messed up.

This new life will lead you to find someone and encourage them. You'll want to tell them how they really are because you can see it plainly while they have probably lost sight of it. If they'd just believe you for a few minutes they could see the future for them that you do. They would see themselves setting higher goals, or allowing lesser goals. That little part in them that wants to do more and better but is overshadowed by that little fearful bug that tells them, Nah, your ok like you are, you probably couldn't do it anyway, that's for lucky, better people, you might make a mistake in front of everyone and that could be catastrophic and possibly embarrassing- a fate worse than death!

But I would tell you, you know that thing? That thing you've dreamed about, or thought about, That thing that wouldn't require much more energy than your using now, wouldn't take much time, would just take a little more focus, a little more risk, a little more life. Yeah, that thing. You can do it.